Tuesday, January 02, 2007

"We have objections in our trousers"

The Sun-Times "Web Connect" page has cracked the case on rock and rolling lawyers (or law and yering rockers) in this not-really-lurid expose, in which it was apparent that most guitar-slinging attornies in Chicago are yer "disorder preserving," thin blue line worshipping, lock 'em up and throw away the key prosecutor types.

Except for friend of the blog Dan K., that is:

"Playing live for people is like winning a jury trial. It's just the best feeling," said Dan Kiss, a Cook County assistant public defender and bass player for Soft Targets. "There's a lot less pressure, too. No one goes to prison if you play a bad show."

Oh, sometimes they do, Dan, if you play it right. (Just ask blog mascot, Dez "Pogo Papillon" Dez Monde, aka Number 314159.)

Dan goes on to say:

"The people in my office who don't get it think the proper way to express yourself for a mass audience is to write a blog. And they don't understand why you'd want to be around smoke and alcohol," he said.

Mm. I have to admit that I don't quite understand what these way uncool office people are going on about, because the smoke 'n' booze factor around this blog's headquarters (not to mention hindquarters) tends to be pretty hefty most of the time. So there seems to be an inherent contradiction there. But if by "mass audience" they mean "roughly 12 to 20 people a day, about a quarter of whom were looking for the answer to the musical question 'what cartoon character said i hate meeces to pieces?' " ... OK. This is definitely the best way to express yourself in that manner.

POSTSCRIPT: The Soft Targets website is over hyah. Keen.


Mr. Insert Namehere said...

Yeah, but your "mass audience" has to be at least twice as massive, per capita, so YOU WIN! IN TERMS OF DENSITY, YOU WIN!!!

Anyhoozle, a man could get a more massive audience by pushing the RSS feed button magiggy in his blogger.com publishing options, so his idiot long distance friend could just add it to his daily newsfeed burgoos on his My Yahoo page instead of having to remember the direct URL to his (a man's) site.

Or would that be "his His Yahoo page" instead?

I find it epistemologically troubling that online content providers feel comfortable enough to write in the first person on our behalf.

Either that or the average computer user is simply too lazy to even linguistically map "your" to "my" and is filled with anxiety when directly addressed. Or everybody is a marketing douchebag. I vote #3, and I vote!

Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss said...

Welp, Innie, you can add it to your Your Yahoo gnipgnop by putting the following url into the "add content by url" or whatever it is ... "add content by randy" ... "add content by jaime pressly" ... etc.


I should jibblikonk my settings so there's a button or logo or whatever, and/or do a post about it, but yer possibly the only person I personally know besides myself who monitors stuff via RSS on a regular basis ... but then I never really asked, either.

The word verification words are getting longer. Soon we'll be required to type the entire text of Act 5, Scene IV of Richard III, only with the altered line "my kingdom for a BLORSE," in order to fool the spam robots.

Desmofo said...

I'm just happy that my colicky blogspot ID number is a variant of pi.

Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss said...

That's a prisoner identification number, Mof' Des. The prison of spazdanceville. Population, you.

Dessy-dessy-fo-fezzy said...

If I were a little more alert, I'm sure I could think of a Manson quote along the lines of "I'm not the one who's in prison, you are."

By the way, has Geraldo gotten off his lazy ass and interviewed OJ yet? They both need the exposure, and I need some fresh quotes, although I've gotten some mileage off of Condeleeza Rice's quote, "We're not escalating the war in Iraq, we're augmenting it."