Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Mr. Jinks! It was Mr. Jinks! Great god almighty, it was Mr. Jinks!

Look, peoples, let's get this crystal clear. The line "I hate meeces to pieces!" was uttered by -- in fact, was the catchphrase of -- the cartoon cat Mr. Jinks, from the Hanna-Barbera show, "Pixie and Dixie." He's the one who hated meeces to pieces, and often said so. Many, many times those scampy meeces, er, mices, er, mice, Pixie and his gay lover, Dixie, would thwart the hapless and hungry cat, Mr. Jinks, who was not so much evil as, just as nature made him, a cat, yes, a predator, with a natural predilection toward attacking with the aim of eating mice, which, when such efforts were met with monotonous and wacky sound-effected failure, would anger said Mr. Jinks to a quite comical degree, indeed. Although he was magically gifted with humanoid speech, you see, his command of irregular plurals was, to say the least, deficient, and, in fact, was clearly below even that of a small child, who would presumably be more inclined to make the very logical mistake of referring to more than one mouse as "mouses." Not Mr. Jinks, though. No. For some twisted reason -- perhaps malnutrition, perhaps confusion at finding himself thrust into the cruel world in a semi-anthropomorphic condition -- Mr. Jinks pluralized "mouse" as "meeces." Hence, on those occasions when Pixie and Dixie -- that is, those rare occasions when Pixie and Dixie were not fellating each other in their fruity little hidey hole behind the sheetrock of some unseen human person's house -- so enraged Mr. Jinks to a degree causing him to lose his ordinary catly composure and aloofitude that he would roar his displeasure to the nonexistent and uncaring gods, Mr. Jinks would grieve the grievance of the feline damned, via the repeated oath:

"I hate meeces to pieces!!!"

Now, in a world less warped and chaotic, perhaps he would have instead expressed himself with something more like "I hate mice like slipping on ice!" or, granting the cartoon scribes a modicum of comic license, "I hate mouses, those louses!" But would that compel such a torrent of Googlishly curious? I think not.

Nonetheless. The persistent misguidedness of seekers of "I hate meeces to pieces" knowledge perplexes me. I mean, I regard myself as a teacher, and repetition of lessons to the dull and dim is part of my lot, which I accept. But for Christ's sake. See, there's this thing called Wikipedia, and it has a lot of info. You'd be amazed. It even has info on who said I hate meeces to pieces, by gum.

Now please keep visiting my blog. Thank you.

P.S., I hate meeces to pieces.

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