It's Liza with a "z," not Lisa with an "s," cuz Lisa with an "s" goes ... sssmash your weird little face, mutherfuckerrrr!!!

From the world of pathetic and demented celebrity gossip:

NY judge throws out suit against Liza Minnelli

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York judge on Monday dismissed a $10 million spousal abuse suit against Liza Minnelli filed by her estranged husband David Gest, who claimed the entertainer assaulted him in a drunken rage.

...

Gest sued for $10 million, saying in the suit that Minnelli's assault caused him "throbbing pain, severe headaches, vertigo, nausea, hypertension, scalp tenderness and insomnia."

(Emphasis added.)

And that was just on their honeymoon!

But seriously, folks, I'm pretty sure that dudes are spending good moneys to obtain tender scalps at the newest "SoFo" attraction, Sir Spa ("Where Men Get their Go"* -- fine purveyors of "Bumps Be Gone" and other awkwardly named products and/or services). And I have a feeling that they'd pay at least double to get them tenderized by Liza. For a little extra, she'll sing a medley of her mom's hits while she renders that bad boy tender. If that's what you're into, you sick little well-groomed monkey.

*(unregistered, but asserted to be common-law service mark)