Sunday, September 17, 2006

Are you dready of some feets balls?

Sigh. Baseball season is all but over, and college and professional "foot" ball is already dominating the cable sports channels. Unfortunately, try as I might, I find football to be almost unwatchable. The only thing that makes it even slightly entertaining is the increasing similarity I've noticed over the years between professional football and a combination of a fruity Broadway musical and a weepy soap opera. Every Sunday, the Jets and the Sharks get together for a good cry about some stuff their dead fathers said to them back in Gigantic Freak Of Nature Camp, when they were 9 years old and weighed a mere 785 lbs. And then they dance!

Yes, NFL football is, by far, the gayest of all sports. And that includes Beach Felching (catch it on Cumcast Spurts Net). The fact that the Bears have just been penalized 15 yards for "celebrating in an unfair way" confirms this fact.

(Tweeet!) "Unnecessary use of confetti by number 83, offense! Excessive cake decoration by number 42, defense! Illegal surprise party! Ten yards! Of silk chiffon!"

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