Monday, May 22, 2006

What fuggin year is it?

Haven't we endured this kind of assholery about a million times already? Do we have to go through this shit over and over and over and over and over and over and over again for the rest of our wretched lives? Can't the prigs just get out of Arlington Heights and move to fucking Indiana or Alabtucky or some other bastion of outdoor plumbing and sister-impregnating? Or at least move to Wheaton? Jesus Hemorrhoidal Christ.

7 deadly books? Talk of ban hits burbs

A northwest suburban high school board member seeks to ban seven books from classroom use because she thinks the profanity, depiction of graphic sex, and drug and abortion references in the literature are inappropriate for teenagers.

Leslie Pinney admits she only read passages of the controversial selections, including Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five and Toni Morrison's Beloved, which were on the American Library Association's 100 most challenged books list between 1990 and 2000.

... Stephen Chbosky's The Perks of Being a Wallflower ...

... Other books Pinney wants replaced are The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien; The Awakening by Kate Chopin; Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner, and Michael Pollan's The Botany of Desire: A Plant's-Eye View of the World.

Now that last one I can sorta understand. Nothing prods the swollen hormonality of teenagers straight over the edge of 17 into glistening, groping, legs-splayed fecundity quite like a tale of hot, steamy vegetable love.

Speaking of which, here's a steamy vegetable recipe you're going to love. Head to the local farmer's market just as soon as it gets going. Buy yourself a big bag of fresh peas. Remove peas from pods, steam for just a little while -- really just warm them up; you don't want to blast out the sweetness. Toss with a little bit of unsalted butter until it melts all over the peas, and, if you want, throw in a little chopped mint. Eat them all. It fuels the body and soul for a hard day of fighting ignorance and jerkitude.

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