The Major League Baseball dissssssssciplinarian's office has issued penalties for last weekend's Cubs-Sox brawl, and as usual, neither the Sox fans nor the Cubs fans are happy. The Sox fans think Cubs catcher Michael Barrett should have gotten a 20-game suspension instead of 10, for instigating the whole thing. And the Cubs fans think ... Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski (who was fined, not suspended) is a dick. Also, they think he's smelly and his feet's too big, and his piercing eyes are just captivating, although it's hard to focus on them when his ass is that high and tight. Clearly they have mixed feelings that confuse and confound them.
Sure, A.J. has a 'tude that could choke a donkey. It's called testicles, Cubs fans. Maybe you can pass a hat and see if you can raise enough money to buy a pair for your team.
(Jesus ... I can't tell if I'm writing "in character," or if I mean this crap. Oh well, what's the difference?)
2 comments:
Why in the hell was A.J. Pierzynski fined? I don't see how they can justify what he did. Is it because he waved his arms at the crowd after the fight was already over? What a joke. Barrett should have gotten at least 15 games, but 10 is still a lot.
I downloaded the entire game from mlb.com and found a great admission from Rob Mackowiak that I don't think was shown on the network broacast of the game. Basically, Mackowiak was on the bench talking to A.J. and Anderson after the fight and was laughing while telling Anderson that he was choking Mabry while Anderson was punching him. Maybe Barrett will think twice next time before flying off the handle - one of his teammates could get injured.
http://judgesmailes.blogspot.com/2006/05/rob-mackowiaks-actions-during-white.html
MLB is vague about the reasons for fining A.J. According to the news stories I've read, the statement pretty much just says the fine is "for his conduct during the incident." It certainly lacks the specificity that would be required in a criminal information or indictment. The arm-waving was, in my view, after the incident, not during it. There's no crime in slapping home plate, and Barrett has already said that he didn't even see that. It seems like a pretty clumsy fine.
Ten games for Barrett is about what I figured would happen. Anderson probably deserved the five games he got. And the Sox can afford to miss Anderson a lot more than the "watch out, Pirates, we're coming after your last place spot" Cubs can afford to do without Barrett. What's Henry Blanco batting right now, .016?
I wonder how many games Joey Cora would have gotten suspended if he really did bite somebody. Thirty-two, one per tooth?
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