Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Edamame so fat, when the food service industry markets edamame around the country, it markets edamame AROUND the country

Enough of the goddamn edamamezes, I say to McDonalds and Applebee's and various other shitty food purveyors, dammit. The little green soybeans have really hit the middle west with a marketing impact from hell lately. They're everywhere. Apparently if it's a new menu item, it's gotta have em. They're putting them in salsa now! I am more or less indifferent to edamame qua eats, but I am definitely sick of hearing about em. Pretty soon I'll be seeing commercials for the Pizza Hut Edamame Lover's Pizza. Ooh! Edamame! Hell-thheeee! Decadently healthy, in fact! Health to die for! Why don't you kill me how you reeeeeeeally feeel? You and whose army?


Anonymous said...

That was, like, a one-man, one-act play with multiple characters. But you said "qua" and now the entire post is impenetrable. Suddenly it's, like, Spinoza or something.
But seriously, it's hard to believe, here in France, that McDo is going edamame. Are you serious? Is the Sunshine cafe in trouble? The food market is pathetic. I remember driving from Chicago to Boston three years ago (three times in one year; I don't recommend it for the scenery and loss of time) and going into these service areas with burger joints (Hardees, Burger King, McDo) whose menus catered to that Atkin's or whatever diet. Burgers and lettuce, sans bun. What the fuck? Hmm. I hear people in Bimidji are really getting in to traditional German cuisine. Better make two billion frozen pizzas drowned in a sauerkraut topping. Maybe it will go nationwide for a week.
This is hell. How to stop it?
Maybe we can tell the potato lobby about the edamame side dish craze. Maybe they can hire the same Bush fake news Pr firm to make a video news release about all the human feces in the average serving of edamame. Maybe they can even get footage of me taking a dump on it. That's our only hope.

Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss said...

It's true.

"McDonald's Asian salad includes edamame (soybeans) and up to 16 types of fresh greens."