Monday, October 02, 2006

Cubs fans finally complete transformation into walking rectums with dumb blue caps

Yeah, STDPM and The Dez made the scene at yesterday's Last Cubs Game (Thank God) of 2006 -- and a sad scene it was. I'm not a big fan of Dusty Baker*, and people have a right to be a dick, I guess, but the "Bye Bye Dusty" signs and gratuitous booing served as additional confirmation that Cubs fans have turned into that most hateful and despicable of sports enthusiasts -- Red Sox fans.

The fact that there are any Cubs fans at all is bewildering enough. The fact that in 2006, more than 3.12 million tickets were sold for the last place team's 81 home games is a mystery for the ages. But the fact that an apparent majority of these people paid among the highest prices in professional baseball to show up and boo, cuss, and whine like ... well, like little Bostonians -- that's just something else.

Well, now they don't have Dusty Baker to kick around anymore. Unfortunately, there's about zero chance that the Cubs won't suck hard again next season. And three million people will show up to complain about it.

But that's an easy prediction to make, even on the first day of the off-season. Yes, the 2007 Cubs will stink to high heaven. Unfortunately, I have a bad feeling -- supported by nothing other than intuition -- that the White Sox are going to be stuck in 3rd place all next year, and by July, a large and loud contingent of fans will be screaming for Ozzie Guillen's head on a plate.

OK, that's it. This is my last Cubs or White Sox-related post of 2006. Here come the playoffs. You're dying to know who I'm rooting for, right? Well, without elaboration, I'm rooting for the not-Yankees and not-Mets above anyone else, but I suppose I can support the Dodgers and A's, if that's what it's come to.

*For the record, I was one of the few hoping they'd keep Baker, and that they'd strangle Mark Prior and ship Kerry Wood to Guantanamo ... but I digress.

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