Rex Grossman for President

In news of news that makes me temporarily amused and gladdened, the Bears lost miserably last night on the NBC national television broadcast. The Bears losing -- especially when they lose badly, and especially when they lose badly on network TV -- always makes people here in Chicago melancholy and Sartreian.*

The Bears went to the Stupid Bowl last year, and everyone assumed they would do so again this year. But, so far, they suck. Like a large number of objects that suck. An awesome array of mechanical suction creators.

Football annoys the hell out of me, so I like this.**

Although maybe the goddamn Cubs and their pretend flurry of a fugazi*** of nonsuckingness are propping up the pathetic emotional baggages of Chicagoland athletic supporters.

Every year, in July or so, when both baseball teams usually suck, people often say, "Well, at least football season starts soon." But this year, it looks like the attemptedly-optimistic chumps in Outside-My-Apartment-Stan would have to say, "Well, at least baseball season isn't over yet."

Hah!

Screw you, sports fans. Screw you to hell!


* This brings them down a little closer to my level -- and you could call my level "basement," but I prefer the real estate euphemism, "garden."
** And what I like even better is that the hated Notre Damiens of South Bent, Hoosiermama, lost again and are 0 and 4. I will not be truly happy, however, until they go 0 and 666.
*** Not the band, the slang term meaning "phony." Duh.