Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Well, duh

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

The Midland
The Northeast
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

Yes, I come from the portion of the country where they pronounce things correctly. Well ... except that many of us say "ruff" for "roof," which kind of bugs me for some reason. And I absolutely refuse to pronounce "Chicago" as "ShuhCAWgo" -- because there simply is no fucking way you can get that vowel sound out of a mere "a," and I don't give a shit who disagrees.

Also -- hey, quiz-making asshole or assholes, I gotta quesshun fer you (or youse). Why the fuck would I be annoyed to be asked whether I come from Wisconsin or Chicago? You gotta prahblim wit eeder a doze fine playsiz? Whyncha come over by here and say dat?

I AM from Chicago, ya knockwad! And I grew up 5 miles from da Wiscahhhnsin border! Ya jerk.

There, I feel better. A little unwarranted hostility is pleasant during periods of writer's blecch (see immediately previous post).


Mr. Insert Namehere said...

Boy yer a real hothead! Why dont you leave your anger in the fronch room when you come home from work each day? It works for me.

Actually it doesnt, and this was a pisspoor attempt at mocking Zhagallgallans and their wacky kooky nutty catchphrases.

Changing the subject to a more cheerful one, did they cancel hanukah this year or are all the US calendar goyims just ignoring it this year, out of punishment for Izr(phlegm-hocking-sound)el's upstaging American hegemony* in Oilsville? Cuz it isnt on any of the calendars I have this year. Maybe it rolls over into 2007 or some wackiness?

*hegemony and the dynamic blue-diamond hegemony device are restistered trademarks of Chomskies Unlimited, LLC

Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss said...

I would leave my anger over by da fronchroom, but dat's where my computer is, so it wooden do much good. Maybe I should leave it in da gangway, instead. Except dis courtyard buildin is flush against da tree-flat nexdoor, and dere is no gangway ... so ... I'm fresh outta ideas.

Chanukah is Dec. 16-23 this year, Booby Beaver. Now that it's been (purportedly, according to Shtarker Than Schmutz Ma Matzoh, already) established that I'm part-Jewish, I'll be expecting gifts.