Sox Blogging Returns: Alexei Ramirez Benched

Sophomore shortstop Alexei Nikita Gagarin Putin Ramirez has been slumping, so Ozzie Guillen has taken him out of the lineup for a while.

The Tribune reports:

"I’m not going to say this is the doghouse," Guillen said ... as far as we can tell.

Yeah, it's true that that guy is not easy to understand. Or as he'd say, "Dahgye ee noeez umstam. Nome saymg?"

Thanks, Trib, for translating, at any rate. Who says newspapers have no social value in today's market?

I imagine the actual interview sounded a little more like this:

Ayyayn sem dees no doghow. Hee no Smoopy omtop dere. Ha ha, 'Dis dark amstorm nigh.' Hey, Woobstog burr ... why I no hee curball nomo? Hawee gom weem gane?

Then, in an apparent mixup of Ozziness, Mr. Guillen screamed "SHARON!!!" and passed out.